Who Else Wants to Raise A Kid That Can Have Healthy Relationships?
You set boundaries and they break through them to run to the sunset. Mend the fences and keep on keeping on.
Who Else Wants to Raise A Kid That Can Have Healthy Relationships?
OH NO! The parent that has abdicated the throne. This comes up with teenagers who have entered highschool. Or even 13 year olds with younger siblings. These young people have all the responsibilities of an adult.
- No bed time
- No limits on technology
- Able to have sleep overs for the weekend
- No limits on drug use or alcohol use
This happens because it was how the parent learned. They received these responsibilities of deciding how to live as a very young person. Now they are handing these responsibilities to their children at a very young age.The lines of “right/wrong” are blurry. You’ll hear many parents say, “well if they are going to be doing it anyway I would prefer they do it here under my roof.” This is one way to approach difficult parenting bumps in the road. Another is to set appropriate rules. Establish boundaries that keep your teenager safe and match their responsibility. Providing boundaries for your teenager is necessary. Boundaries are the secret to healthy relationships. I have to be honest and say I fall on the wrong end of this debate. There are many times that I recommend that parents back off. I encourage them to allow life to mold their teenagers. Allow for natural consequences to be the parent. I am reminded time and again by loving parents that they have until their child is 18 to give their all. They will not stop until their child moves out of their home. I can’t argue with that and believe it comes from fierce love. What I mean by don’t give up is
stay awake,
stay tuned in.
Keep getting to know your children.
Keep spending time with them.
Keep growing together.
You can allow natural consequences and not save them. You can issue consequences on top of natural consequences, but pay attention. They can make their own food, let themselves in, and make a good choice about not running in front of traffic, we hope. But they need you! They need you to help them set boundarties in relationships.
- To learn to listen to what their body needs and what their emotions mean as they enter a more complex way of living.
- To love them when they screw up.
- To depend on when they are not sure.
- To help them build healthy relationships and cope with life when it gets messy. Watch them bloom and don't blow them away until it is time!
My absolute favorite part of my job is reconnecting the road between parents and teens. If you are your teen are distant, communication is down and you need a bridge over troubled water- I can help you. On the flip side... I know parenting can be a long road. Some days you wonder where you went wrong because you are seeing no results. I would love to help you see where you are doing all the right things. I would love to give you that positive feedback. Half of the battle is trusting your child's future to the only one who has any control in this whole mess. Let's meet and learn new ways to manage your feelings so you can live the life of your dreams.
Healthier parents make better parents, this is a change you can start today and you will never regret it.
You can call me at 357-0536 to set up and appointment. Emily