123 Magic and Emotional Regulation
When you are utilizing the counting strategy that 123 Magic teaches, and doing it by-the-book, it sounds like:
“That’s one…(silence)” “That’s two…(silence)” “Three, take 5.” [taking action, providing consequence, usually time out] Resume life without lecture, nagging or reminder of past failure.You are essentially giving the child two chances to consider their own emotions, their actions and the action’s consequences and make a choice. They then have a consequence and are able to start from scratch with another opportunity to practice regulating themselves. It eliminates the adult
-bartering with, -arguing with, -intimidating or otherwise tampering with the child’s ability to regulate their own emotions.
**In order for an adult to be successful with this simple technique of providing the child space to regulate themselves, the adult has to be aware of their own tendency to become frazzled. Often where 123 Magic goes wrong is in the form of an adult temper tantrum.**
Practicing setting limits with your child, verbalizing very little during that interaction and keeping your body in check is a great undertaking of self regulation and will become easier with time. It is also always a great idea to have someone to check in with on a regular basis for encouragement and troubleshooting.
I'm always here to help, Emily