God is a good father. He wants us to have husbands that take good care of us. He wants us to have husbands that we are attracted to. He wants our husbands to have wives that they are attracted to. And he wants our husbands that have wives who are attracted to them. Physical touch and attraction are (stereotypically... lets be real.. anything I say about "men" is stereotypical ... women for that matter!) important to men. More than anything he wants us to become more like him... but these are not small things to wish for.
Stereotypically... haha... women are more complicated in their feelings toward their husband. It isn't really if they are "in shape", shaved or stylin'. It is more about "did they do the dishes they offered to finish for me?" or "did they appreciate the dinner I took time to make for them?" Our thoughts get clouded by what we choose to dwell on. If we spend some time looking back on our wedding album or honeymoon pics, we may feel sweetly toward our husband when he walks in the door. This is what God designed. You have the power within you to help yourself desire your husband. Remember who your true enemy is and fight against those negative thoughts that will ensnare your desire for your husband and leave you with contempt toward him.
I designed some greeting cards to help my friends channel their positive thoughts toward their husband and write them out. These cards will definitely bless and fill their husbands' love tank, but more than that, they will bless my girlfriends who will spend a good amount of time reflecting on what exactly they admire about this man they are married to for life. Check them out and consider them for yourself or a friend. Remember to utilize the power within you (the Holy Spirit) to desire your husband and think highly of him. It will only increase the pleasure in your life!
It is not dependent on their performance and that is a tough cookie to swallow. If you are struggling with this, pray for your desire to improve and God to reveal where it is being attacked. Meet with a counselor to explore how you might grow your love for your husband, because you know that God is good and desires this for you.