Thinking Errors: Disqualifying the Positive
Posted: April 19, 2015
Ready to disqualify all of your positive attributes and focus on your flaws?
Annual Performance Review time at work!
AKA
"Let us tell you everything you are doing right along with exactly 2.5 criticisms and leave you to your self-destructive misery."
Sound familiar? (I think every management team reads a book on this equation.)
This thinking error is SO easy to fall victim to. We listen to praise, dismissing it very quickly with a shrug or a thought of, "Oh, you are just saying that to cushion the blow." Why is it so difficult to receive complements?
The truth is that most compliments are genuine. People thought them spontaneously and were kind enough to speak them outloud to you. Accept them as truth and, for crying out loud, just say, "Thank you!"(I'm preaching to myself here. I usually say, "Oh, you're sweet!")
Sometimes it just takes one small "not even an incident" to get me on a downward spiral.
It might be my outfit. Since becoming a "Mom" my clothes haven't fit exactly the same and half of them are the wrong size. This can through me into a fit when I am trying to get out of the house, as I become blind to endless blessings around me and I focus on my "haphazard" appearance.
Philippians 4:8 ....Whatever is excellent or praise worthy, think about such things!
If you find yourself in a negative spiral, feeling grouchy, discontent, anxious or sad, think about what you are thinking about. That is the first step to taking control of those thoughts!
Are you falling prey to the thinking error of disqualifying positives in your life? Let me give you a hint from my own experience of those annual reviews... When those negative thoughts start fighting for center stage, just say a polite, "No, thank you!" and get back to work!
This thinking error is SO easy to fall victim to. We listen to praise, dismissing it very quickly with a shrug or a thought of, "Oh, you are just saying that to cushion the blow." Why is it so difficult to receive complements?
The truth is that most compliments are genuine. People thought them spontaneously and were kind enough to speak them outloud to you. Accept them as truth and, for crying out loud, just say, "Thank you!"(I'm preaching to myself here. I usually say, "Oh, you're sweet!")
Sometimes it just takes one small "not even an incident" to get me on a downward spiral.
It might be my outfit. Since becoming a "Mom" my clothes haven't fit exactly the same and half of them are the wrong size. This can through me into a fit when I am trying to get out of the house, as I become blind to endless blessings around me and I focus on my "haphazard" appearance.
Philippians 4:8 ....Whatever is excellent or praise worthy, think about such things!
If you find yourself in a negative spiral, feeling grouchy, discontent, anxious or sad, think about what you are thinking about. That is the first step to taking control of those thoughts!
Awareness of the error will lead you to challenging that error with some truth!
Are you falling prey to the thinking error of disqualifying positives in your life? Let me give you a hint from my own experience of those annual reviews... When those negative thoughts start fighting for center stage, just say a polite, "No, thank you!" and get back to work!